Day 6: Gut-Wrenching

Today we gutted a house. It's hard work. We stripped the walls down to the studs with our hammers, crowbars, and bare hands.

Thing is, the house we were gutting was Willie Brown's.
The same Willie Brown,
the same house,
the same walls we had been carefully mudding, taping, sanding, and painting for the past 3 days.

It is difficult to even begin to explain the feelings that have gone on amongst our team today. Around noon those of us who were working on Willie's house received the order to stop all we were doing and begin to rip down all of the drywall. Initially we asked our worksite supervisor if he was joking. He grimly admitted that he wasn't. The drywall which had been installed in the house had been donated. As it turns out, it had also been imported from China and some of the material it was made from posed a significant health risk.
It isn't necessary to belabor the details. What it all means is that Mr. Brown's house, which was finally nearing completion after 31/2 years, is being gutted for the third time since Katrina. An unknown amount of other residents will also have to gut their houses all over again--some of which have been completed and residents moved in. Mr. Brown quietly shed some tears when he was notified...and quietly closed the door to our work and our team. Truthfully, some of us were amazed that he held it together even that well.

So from 12 pm to 4:45 pm we gutted with heavy hearts. Our thoughts flew to Mr. Brown and the many others who will be affected by this deeply unfortunate turn of events. To put it quite frankly, it absolutely sucks. Not for us, not because we had to tear down our work. Absolutely not that. But it absolutely sucks that Willie's hope has been taken away once again. In a matter of a weeks time, he saw his house being rebuilt, and the rebuilding process being deterred. Our onsite Supervisor reminded us that even through our frustration we have to remember that these things are not eternal, however even if we believe this to be true, our hearts are hit hard. We cannot begin to understand how Willie feels.


It is difficult to wrap our minds around why and how these things happen. Why--when it seems to us that justice is finally being done--does good and diligent work get set back by 7 paces? Why is Willie Brown still waiting on his house while the drug dealers down the street thrive? How can you even say this is in your good time, God? In the words of the psalmist, in the words of Habakkuk, "How long, O Lord?"

Today we have prayed while we swung hammers and crowbars. We have meditated as we broke screws and punished walls on which so many hopes had been written and floated. Our hearts remain heavy as we wonder what will happen now. EFCA Crisis Response has to pick up a $30,000 tab to replace the drywall as quickly as possible. They also have to assess and formulate a plan of action to recall the hazardous dry wall. But the money is not here. The materials are not here. The skills and laborers and time is not here. So we are lifting our eyes to the hills;

Where will Willie Brown's help come from?

This day stripped us down to our bones just as we stripped down Willie's house. We are discouraged, needy, wanting, hoping, trusting God as we shake our heads in sadness and disbelief. The hugeness of this problem is difficult to believe--the solution to the problem is even more difficult to envision.

But even as we struggle, wrestle, and pacify ourselves with busy work and prayer, we know that we serve a good God. We know that his timing is good and that he is watching even when he seems blind to plight. We know that he is orchestrating redemption even when it seems as though he is content to allow chaos. We know that he is with Mr. Brown behind his closed door, grieving with him and being more comfort than we could possibly be.

But man. We've pulled our guts out. And we need prayer.

EFCA Crisis Response,
Urban Impact Ministries,
Castle Rock Community Church,
and Central City New Orleans NEED your prayers and, if you feel so drawn or lead, please act, if you know of anyone that hangs drywall and feels lead to donate their time or if you know someone that is willing to give financially, please contact us and we will direct you to the right people.

As for us, we'll gut our guts out tomorrow morning and get that space ready for the new materials to come and to stay.

Seeking Shalom,

March '09 team